My Immortal
by ChaosInsanity
Summary: Unable to sleep, Sango goes outside one night after encountering her brother several days earlier to collect her thoughts. Oneshot songfic. Rated for...stuff. Couldn't fnd a better category


**Yet another of my oneshot songfics. I'm getitng better, I think. This one's longer than Isn't Someone Missing Me? and I hope you like it.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha or the song My Immortal by Evanescence. If I did the apocolypse would finally happen...**

**This oneshot took me three days to write and I'm rather pleased with it. I hope it's good enough for you to click the little review button. Almost no one reviews my oneshots T-T All my oneshots have one review - except Isn't Someone Missing Me?. I got 2 reviews, one from my friend and the other from KiraraTwoTail. Thanx to you both for reviewing.**

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A shaft of pale, silvery moonlight touched the short cropped grass outside, turning its dark green shading to a creamy light greenish color. The night was somewhat humid, but not quite exactly. Nor was it cold—just a mild weather with the occasional soft breeze. The black skies overhead were clear. The moon was a thin crescent giving off a ghostly luminous white glow against the black sky. A wispy shroud of clouds veiled over a section of the moon. Against the moonlight the clouds took on a ghoulish mist-like appearance.

The sliding door was open just a crack—a mere three inch gap. A tiny sliver of light filtered into the dark room and cast an eerie silver glow around the first several feet within the sliding door. She winced at the sudden light, and stirred. Her eyes flickered open. She woke up. No. That wasn't completely true. She'd never been fully asleep to begin with.

It seemed as if she could never get a full night's rest anymore. Her friends didn't know what was wrong. They asked, but she seldom answered anymore. They wouldn't understand.

After several tense moments, she slowly sat up and cast her eyes around the room. She could hear everyone's easy breathing, and besides that the room was silent. She carefully stood up, silent so as to not disturb her companions. As she made her way towards the door, Kirara stirred fitfully and mewed softly.

"Shh, Kirara," she whispered. Kirara fidgeted in her sleep for a few moments longer, before finally relaxing into an easy sleep once again.

She sighed.

Softly sliding the door open, she slipped outside and shut the door fully behind her. For a moment she stared up into the night sky, her eyes trained on the thin slice of moon, reflecting the milky rays of light in her deep brown eyes. A breeze tugged at her hair, snapping her from her daze. Blinking she moved forward with soundless steps and sat at the edge of the wooden boards lining the small inn she and her companions were staying at. Wrapping her arms around her knees she tipped her head back and once more began to gaze at the moon.

_**/I'm so tired of being here**_

_**Suppressed by all my childish fears  
**__**And if you have to leave  
**__**I wish that you would just leave  
**__**Cause your presence still lingers here  
**__**And it won't leave me alone/**_

Sango's thoughts involuntarily shifted to her younger brother, Kohaku. They'd met up with him again several days ago. His eyes…they were still dark and empty. He'd attacked them again, sent by Naraku for another attempt to steal the Shikon Jewel shards the group had gathered. He wouldn't listen to her at all. He'd ignored her as she begged for him to fight against Naraku's control and come to his senses.

He ignored her.

Again.

It was like he was in a sleep so deep no one—no matter who it was—could reach him. Maybe he was. Sango had never been under the same control he was currently under before. She couldn't imagine how it must be for Kohaku, to obey every single one of Naraku's commands, even it meant murder.

Murder.

The word echoed painfully in her ears as she tried to push the thoughts away. Try as she might, she just couldn't get her thoughts away from Kohaku. He'd almost killed again. He would've killed Kagome for the shards…but Inuyasha only just managed to stop him. Kohaku almost ended up getting killed instead. She didn't know what stopped Inuyasha, but it wasn't her. She'd been paralyzed in fear for her brother.

It was that hesitation that allowed his escape.

Sango's eyes strayed to her left hand. Kohaku had nicked the back of her hand with his chain-sickle and now it was tightly bandaged. Too much pressure on that hand caused the wound to reopen. It had already opened up again twice. Sango ran her forefinger of her right hand across the back of her left hand, wincing slightly as her fingertip brushed over the wound.

It had been a few day's since the last time it reopened. It shouldn't be as painful now. It should be healing. Why wasn't the wound getting any better? She felt a sudden burst of pain centering in her left hand.

"Don't tell me…it reopened again?" she murmured to herself.

Sango held her left hand up to the faint moonlight and studied it.

_**/These wounds won't seem to heal  
**__**This pain is just too real  
**__**There's just too much that time cannot erase/**_

A small crimson color appeared on the bandages, spreading slowly, mottling the once-white bandages around the wound scarlet. Fr a moment Sango just stared blankly at the blood appearing on the white cloth.

Finally, with a sigh, she once again lowered her hand to the ground and kept it still. She still couldn't shake away thoughts about her brother. She wondered if he was all right. She wondered…where was he and what was he doing? There was always the possibility that Naraku had ordered him to commit some heinous deed for his own selfish purposes. She hoped he wouldn't do anything that he would live to regret…if he could ever regret again.

She still found it rather hard to believe that this was the same little boy that used to be so shy and timid when they were younger. The corner of Sango's mouth twitched in the beginnings of a small smile as she thought back to the past, before any of this had ever started.

_-Flashback-_

_She'd only just returned from one of her first missions as a demon slayer, and she'd wanted to tell her brother about the demon she and a few of the other slayers who gone with her had battled and successfully killed. However, as she scanned over the familiar faces of all the villagers she'd known her entire life, it become quite obvious he wasn't there._

_Hastily she made her way to the home she, Kohaku, and their father lived in. Sango's father greeted her cheerfully, asking about the mission. Sango quickly told him about the demon and how they'd slain it without going into too much detail. Somewhat breathless by the time she'd finished, she asked him, "Father, where's Kohaku?"_

"_Ah, he went out to woods nearby."_

"_Alone?" Sango was genuinely surprised. How could she not, seeing as Kohaku was still young and quite timid. Plus he'd only just begun his training as a slayer._

"_You can't be there watching him every moment of his life, Sango. He has to grow up."_

"_I know, but…you know how he is. And at his level of experience it's even worse."_

"_If you're that worried then you can go and get him," her father sighed. "But you must get used to this happening often."_

"_Yes, father. Thank you." Sango shifted her massive weapon, Hiraikotsu, to her other arm and called to her companion and friend, Kirara, a two-tailed demon cat._

_--_

_Kohaku sighed in frustration. He'd gone to the woods in an attempt to practice his skills at his chain-sickle, hoping he'd be able to concentrate without worrying about his father watching and correcting him back at the village._

_So far, it seemed as if he was only getting worse._

_Kohaku repositioned himself and threw his chain-sickle at a small bush, hoping to slice off the top of it. His weapon fell short, however, and only just grazed the bottom of the bush before falling limply to the ground. With another defeated sigh, Kohaku moved over to his weapon and began to gather it up again, muttering under breath. He froze when he heard a slight rustle behind him. He kept himself still and quiet for five minutes, during which the sound repeated once. After another few tense moments, silence settled over the woods. Breathing a small sigh of relief, Kohaku picked up his weapon and straightened up, ready for another try._

_When he turned away the chain-sickle fell from his fingers, landing on the grass with a dull thud and sharp rattle of the chain._

_The demon hissed at him, its jaws gaping wide. Kohaku stumbled back, falling to the ground as the demon advanced slowly. Finally finding his voice, he caught his breath and uttered a single, loud scream of horror._

_--_

"_Come on, Kirara," Sango said to the neko. "I want to find Kohaku and make sure he's all right quickly."_

_Kirara responded with a mew and bounded ahead of her, her ears twitching as she listened for any traces of sound that could be Kohaku. Suddenly she bristled and hissed, springing over to a set of large footprints. Following Kirara's gaze, Sango noted that the footprints belong to a rather large demon. And the tracks were still fresh._

"_We'll have to do something about that demon," Sango agreed once seeing the tracks. "But our first concern is making sure this demon—whatever it is—doesn't get Kohaku." Kirara mewed agreement as hopped forward a few step with Sango following close behind._

_They were stopped by a sudden loud scream that exploded over the treetops and echoed eerily over the woods. Kirara's fur spiked up in alarm and Sango gasped as she recognized Kohaku's voice. "We have to hurry, Kirara!"_

_Kirara nodded swiftly and took off into the woods, leading the way through the trees, following the familiar scream into a wide clearing. Kohaku was on the ground, eyes wide and fearful, with a demon stalking towards him, eyes glowing red. The demon's features were wolf-like, but its muzzle was shorter like a feline's, and its claws were also retractable. It bared its fangs at Kohaku and tensed to attack._

_Acting more out of instincts Sango spun Hiraikotsu around once for more momentum and then hurled it at the ground between Kohaku and the demon as Kirara reverted to her larger size in a sheet of crimson flames. The Hiraikotsu hit the ground near the demon's forepaws and sent a spray of dirt and grass into its face. The demon leapt back in surprise, and then sprang forward, shocked, narrowly avoiding the Hiraikotsu a second time as the giant boomerang returned._

_The demon hissed at Sango and Kirara, momentarily forgetting about Kohaku, who gaped in disbelief as Sango came running towards him. The demon lunged at her, but Kirara intervened, latching her claws into its shoulder and snarling in its face. The demon slashed at her, but Kirara ran her claws down the length of its face, leaving behind a set of bleeding claw marks._

_Sango quickly bent beside Kohaku. "Are you okay?"_

"_Y-Yeah, you got here before it could do anything." His voice trembled a little bit, but it was obvious he wasn't hurt._

"_Good. Now, just wait while Kirara and I deal with this demon."_

_**/When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears  
**__**When you scream I'd fight away all of your fears  
**__**And I held your hand through all of these years  
**__**But you still have  
**__**All of me/**_

_Sango stood protectively in front of Kohaku, and prepared to throw Hiraikotsu._

_Kirara heard a rush of air and leapt into the air. Hiraikotsu whistled by underneath her. The demon dodged the first hit, but Kirara lunged down and slammed her paws onto its back, unbalancing the demon and knocking it over just as Hiraikotsu came twisting back. The demon shrieked as the Hiraikotsu tore into its flesh and ripped it apart, spraying blood everywhere._

_Sango easily caught Hiraikotsu and turned back to face Kohaku. Holding out a hand to him, she helped him up and said as he picked up his weapon, "Okay, let's get home then, if you're all right."_

"…_Hey, sister…"_

"_Yes, Kohaku?"_

"_Thanks for coming."_

"_It's okay. I'm your sister—I'm supposed to look out for you._

_-End Flashback-_

Sango heard a soft scratching at the sliding doors behind her. Kirara's soft, muffled mew sounded and Sango softly slid the door open. The small creamy-furred demon cat bounded out and jumped into Sango's arms. Kirara's large, intelligent red eyes looked up towards her. She seemed to know what was wrong.

Kirara mewed softly and Sango gently stroked her soft fur. "I miss him too, Kirara."

Sango and Kirara both tipped their head back to gaze at the night sky. A faint, dusty imprint of a star pinpricked in the sky. Sango noticed it was the only star visible at the moment.

Kohaku used to be so bright…he was timid, but bright.

Could she ever free hr brother from Naraku?

Would he ever be the same again?

Sango had been having nightmares lately, always involving Kohaku. The entire reason she hadn't been able to sleep tonight was because of a nightmare. She could still remember it vividly. She could remember every nightmare involving Kohaku vividly. Flashes of the night's nightmare began to play involuntarily in her mind.

_-Nightmare-_

_Sango swallowed nervously._

_She was dressed in her exterminator's outfit, and she had her mask on and Hiraikotsu with her. Her sword was at her hip, and she had her poisons. Then why did she feel so nervous?_

_She was surrounded in darkness. The only light was a ray of dark moonlight tightly encircling her. Shadows were always creeping closer, slowly but surely destroying what little light she had._

_Behind her she heard a rattle of chains. When she turned, she saw nothing, only to sense a shadow flash behind her, just out of her line of vision. Tensing, Sango felt her hand begin to tremble as she tightened her grip on Hiraikotsu. She caught a flash of silver and put up Hiraikotsu, only just narrowly blocking a small scythe as it slammed against the bone that made up her weapon._

_The scythe was drawn back._

_Another ghostly rattle filled her ears before the scythe came flying at her again. Sango ducked the attack and called, "Come out!"_

_Once again the scythe was pulled back. Silence suffocated her as, for several long minutes she stood there, expecting another attack. But…no, instead a shadow became visible. She soon recognized Kohaku's silhouette, and Sango's pulse quickened. His eyes were dark and empty. He raised his arm. The chain of his sickle rattled softly as the chains shifted. Then he threw the weapon at her._

_The scythe flew past Sango, who still hadn't recovered by the shock of her brother's attack. She felt the edge of the blade rip open her armor, just below her right shoulder. A sharp stab of pain jolted her to her senses. Her eyes instantly flew to the wound. The cut was long and ragged. Crimson blood trickled down her arm and pooled slowly onto the ground at her feet. Her eyes then shot towards Kohaku, who grinned sinisterly._

_A shudder wracked Sango's body as he turned his cold, hollow eyes to her. Her blood froze in her veins when she saw Kohaku's dark smile. Then the chain-sickle flew at her again. Sango managed to throw up Hiraikotsu, blocking the weapon at the last moment. The weapon clattered against the surface of the boomerang, and fell to the ground._

_When Sango lowered her weapon, Kohaku was now standing before her. Shocked, she was frozen in place as he lunged at her and unsheathed his sword. She felt the long blade bite into her shoulder. Hiraikotsu fell from her fingers as she went numb, and son her legs gave out. Collapsing onto the ground, Sango's vision blurred as Kohaku towered over her, holding his sword threateningly._

_Blood pooled around her, swiftly growing larger._

_Sango closed her eyes as she waiting for the final blow, praying that it would come hard and swift._

_The sword stabbed at her back, and she heard a scream of "Kohaku…!" be ripped from her throat…_

_-End Nightmare-_

_**/You used to captivate me  
**__**By your resonating light  
**__**Now I'm bound by the life you left behind  
**__**Your face it haunts  
**__**My once pleasant dreams  
**__**Your voice chased away  
**__**All the sanity in me/**_

Sango shuddered at the memory of the dark dream. Kirara, sensing her fear, rubbed against her a meowed reassuringly. Sango murmured softly to Kirara and stroked the small cat.

She hated it.

Why did it have to be Kohaku to suffer?

Why not her?

He was so young…so innocent.

He didn't deserve this. No one did. Damn that Naraku. This was all his fault. Damn him. She couldn't wait for the day to see him dying, to see him finally lie dead on the ground. Kohaku would be freed then…but…would he ever be the same? She doubted it. After all this, how could he? Naraku had forced him to kill his own father! He'd never be able to forget that once he regained his memory.

Kirara nudged Sango's wounded hand. Sango looked down at it, groaning inwardly when she saw the blood stain had spread. "Damn it all…," she hissed under her breath, even though her thoughts were far away from her little injury.

Her thoughts suddenly turned to the night when Naraku's plan first came into effect. Sometimes visions of her slaughtered father and dying companions haunted her. She self-consciously flinched when she remembered the feel of Kohaku's chain-sickle digging into her back. She still had the scar. Sometimes she thought it would never heal fully. As long as that scar was there, she knew she would never forget that night's events. And she had a feeling she'd have that scar until the day she died.

_**/These wounds won't seem to heal  
**__**This pain is just too real  
**__**There's just too much that time cannot erase/**_

The moon seemed to sink lower, and the single star that stood out to brightly to Sango was fading too. Dawn was nearing. Even the skies seemed to have lightened a shade or two.

Sango sighed and tore her gaze away from the sky.

Sango wished she could just talk to Kohaku without interference. Without Naraku ordering him to kill her…or her friends. But that wouldn't—couldn't—happen until Naraku was dead. They had to kill him soon. They had to. She couldn't leave Kohaku under his control.

What would happen if Kohaku disobeyed his command yet again?

She wouldn't be able to help Kohaku any more if he got into trouble. She wouldn't be able to keep an eye on him either, or keep him out of trouble. Would he even need her help to get out of trouble? Now that he was under Naraku's control, he seemed to be as skilled a slayer as Sango herself. He wouldn't need her help anymore.

And she was sure that as long as she still fought to free him, Naraku would keep Kohaku alive to torture her and twist her heart around, forcing her to choose between her friends and her younger brother. Naraku simply loved to torture his victims in that way. He did the same to Inuyasha years ago: turned him against a loved one. And now Naraku was doing that to Sango.

Kohaku…

He was so different now. His eyes were colder, and hollow. His voice was lifeless and his expression usually monotone, no matter what evil deed Naraku made him do. If given a choice, Sango knew he would never listen to Naraku.

_He shouldn't be alive,_ a voice inside her head told her.

This was true.

That night when Naraku had first possessed him, he'd been killed by the castle guards. It was later that Naraku came back and resurrected him with a jewel shard, and thus turned him into his puppet. Naraku enjoyed seeing Sango's pain and suffering, but he could just as easily remove the Shikon Shard and leave Kohaku to die.

And Sango wouldn't be able to do a thing about it.

_**/When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears  
**__**When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears  
**__**And I held your hand through all of these years  
**__**But you still have  
**__**All of me/**_

The memory of the battle that had occurred only a few days before still lingered vividly in her mind. The way they'd been separated had been a well thought out strategy. While they'd been wandering around a forest, searching for the Shikon Jewel Shards, Kohaku, who had been trailing them for a while now, had thrown poison smoke bombs at their feet. To avoid poisoning they'd had to separate and flee in different directions, thus making it easier to steal the jewel shards.

Kagome had been their target—well, more exact, the jewel shards she carried. Kirara had led Sango to where Kohaku had cornered Kagome. Even though a small part of her knew it had been Kohaku, Sango had still been shocked into stillness to see her brother, readying himself to kill one of her friends. Kirara herself seemed somewhat unsure of what she should do.

Kagome had been lucky enough to dodge the first few blows. Her luck soon ran out however, and Kohaku had managed to slice a long, deep cut in her arm with a well-placed blow from his chain-sickle.

The sudden scent of blood in the air was probably what had alerted Inuyasha. He'd appeared seemingly out of nowhere with Tetsusaiga brandished. Kohaku quickly got out of the way once Inuyasha had Tetsusaiga raised. Sango was unsure of what Inuyasha would do next. He'd been tiring of everything that Kohaku put them through, even if it wasn't his fault.

When he'd raised his sword, Sango had panicked and self consciously took out her long weighted chain and had thrown it at Inuyasha. The weight carried the chain over and around the tip of Inuyasha's massive blade several times, and then Sango had pulled it taught, preventing Inuyasha from swinging the lethal weapon down.

She still remembered every word spoken from that point…

_-Flashback-_

"_Sango!" Inuyasha snarled. "What are you doing!?"_

_Trembling, Sango didn't know how to respond. Inuyasha twisted Tetsusaiga, trying to free it from the chains. Startled, Sango tightened her grip on the chain and pulled it back towards her. The sword lurched slightly in Inuyasha's hands, and the tip of the blade turned away from Kohaku. In an instant Kohaku leapt away._

_As he fled into the woods, Sango heard herself shout, "Kohaku!"_

_Kohaku froze for an instant, and glanced over his shoulder at her. His eyes, which had once been so full of life, were now cold and hollow, dead in every way. They locked eyes for a split second, and Sango only saw emptiness. And then the moment was over. Kohaku broke eye contact and spun away, disappearing into the trees._

_Inuyasha gave her a look of disgust as he sheathed Tetsusaiga, and then went over to Kagome._

_Sango swallowed and her fingers twitched slightly. The chain rattled as it inched across the grass. She was blind to everything around her—deaf to it all. The only thing she saw was the dark, empty look in Kohaku's eyes._

_-End Flashback-_

_**/I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone  
**__**But though you're still with me  
**__**I've been alone all along/**_

The sky had lightened several shades by this time. The moon had sunken even lower, and the single star that had been visible tat night was gone. The first colors of dawn painted the sky near the horizon, a light creamy color that soon bled into a bright amber color, and that led to a sharp crimson shade which gradually darkened into the color the sky was now: a paling dark blue. The colors of the new day were slowly spreading.

The first ray of golden sunlight flitted over the treetops, filtering through the leafy branches and lightly touching the forest floor.

Sango slowly stood and whispered to Kirara, "We'd better get back inside. I don't want the others to know we didn't get any sleep." Kirara mewed in a soft voice and padded quietly inside when Sango opened the sliding doors.

Sango crept cautiously inside after closing the door, and allowed her eyes to adjust to the slight dimness before lying down on her futon. Kirara curled up beside her and closed her eyes.

As the first warm rays of light filtered into the room, casting a warm golden glow, Sango steadied her breathing and closed her eyes, relaxing herself as though she'd been asleep this entire time.

_**/When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears  
**__**When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears  
**__**And I held your hand through all of these years  
**__**But you still have  
**__**All of me…/**_

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**I thought the song fit.**

**I hope you liked it. Positive reviews are encouraged, flames are not. If you're gonna flame don't even waste your time - I won't read them. Sorry for any mistakes that might-'ve missed spell checker on Word. It happens.**

**If you have any suggestions for future oneshots, let me know. I take requests - depending on the song and character or couple. Hey, if you have a birthday or something coming up, I'd be happy to write you a oneshot. Just mail me.**

**That's it for today.**

**Stay tuned for any future oneshots.**


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